A Christmas Gone Wrong
by It'sAllGooeyAndSticky
Summary: The people of South Park are acting stupid once again. But will Christmas be saved By…? The gorge? It's not that bad to mix up the tags on a present. Right? It won't hurt anyone.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

This story was written by, myself. But the thought came from CallMeBlueStreak, who deserves three fourths of the credit. I just deserve a fourth for writing it. I hope it's to the best of my abilities, Blue Streak. Let me know if you liked it. Review with honesty. I know it's a little out of season, but full steam ahead. oh… and Cartman says a lot of things I would never say in here. It's just him saying it. I myself am Mexican. And Garrison does too, but remember, it's just them. Let me know what you think about the original prop character.

Disclaimer:

The author does not own any of the characters. Neither does the website. The author can, and does express his/her freedom to share credit of the story below, and so chooses to. This story contains swearing. And suggestive racial slurs.

Chapter 1

"I'm warning you, Kinny! If you so much as try to get in there, and see, I'll hurt you!" Cartman yelled as he and his friends walked to his house from the bus stop.

"I'm not gonna try." Kenny reassured through his hood. "Don't worry, fat tub. I don't even care what you got me. I bet it's some hella crappy gift."

"Yeah. He probably got you a bag of cheesy poofs, so he can ask you to give him half." Kyle said laughing his shrill tone. "What a chode."

"Ay! You better watch it, Jew. I'll kill your Jersey ass in your sleep." Eric declared as they rounded a corner and nearly bumped into a kid.

"Oh, look. It's Mr. G Status." Cartman said laughing. "You need a job today, Gus?" he asked. "Wanna shine my shoes? Wanna go to my house and make me some tacos?" he asked.

"Just because I'm a Mexican, it doesn't mean I eat tacos! And my mom and dad are legal in the US! So, I don't need a job. I'ma fuckin' fifth grader, lard ass. I'd watch your mouth around me if I were you." Gus threatened scowling.

The boy stood at a shocking five ten, for the tender age of 10 years old. He had short brown hair, and nice colored brown eyes. he was usually spotted hanging around Token, as they claimed to be, Broskis. Kenny smiled eyeing his trench coat.

"Got any weed?" Kenny asked.

"No." Gus said grinning. "But we can make it happum! Know what I'm sayin' G?" he asked as they both high fived.

They made it to Cartman's house ten minutes later, and Kyle and Stan both departed. Kenny decided it was worth waiting to see if Cartman was going to be distracted enough for him to see what was hiding as a Christmas gift. Knowing Cartman, it was probably really dumb. But then again, it might not be.

Cartman ended up kicking him out three hours later after announcing he was going to get ready to do his homework. Kenny left feeling a little put off. How was he going to find out? Homework? Why the hell would he need to do homework if Christmas break had just started?

Three days went on like this. Until Cartman decided it was time to do something about the poor boy's excitement. He gathered Stan and Kyle at his house and they proceeded to plan. It was simple. Move location of the said gift.

"Kyle's at Eric's house at the moment, Buby!" Sheila said as she hugged him. "He'll be back in a couple hours he said. If you'd like, you can go upstairs and wait for him. I've got to go and buy today's dinner." she said sighing. "Ike's up there with a friend of his. Oh, and speaking of friends, here comes Gus."

The boys were allowed to stay in Kyle's room until the red head returned. Of course, this shouldn't have happened.

"Why are you looking through Kyle's shit, Kenny? You're totally betraying bro code." Gus said plopping down on the bed.

"Okay, first off… no one says that. Second, I just wanna take a peek. It's not like I won't wrap it back up, and put it back." Kenny explained. "It's just a look."

The boy took the present marked, Kenny, off the desk, and unwrapped it. Before he could say or do anything, there was a loud bang, and the boy was blasted backward in a fire ball. Gus let out a yell as the room burst into flames. Miraculously, the Semite's brother came in at the time, and helped extinguish the flames. Not before it was too late. Kenny McCormick had been blown up… By a Christmas present.

"Oh… my… Geeod!" Gus yelled. "Kyle killed Kenny!"

"You bastod!" Ike shouted as his four year old body shook with fright.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The images still played in the boy's mind as he lay in bed that night. The happy go lucky nine year old, ready to sneak a glance at a present. How? How come this had to happen? And how come it was that he couldn't tell anyone and make them listen? Kenny was dead, and no one listened, or seemed to care. Why? Why had he had to be alone with Kenny during his death? Fuck, why the hell did he even care? This little puny fourth grader. He deserved what was coming to him.

The next day he awoke to his phone ringing. It was twelve in the afternoon, and his mother hadn't come to wake him yet. He sighed as he grabbed his phone. Kenny? But how? He was dead.

"Hello?" he asked.

"You gotta get over to my house, dude! Terrorists are trying to kill us!" It was his voice. But was it really

"Kenny?" Gus gasped yawning. "Dude, what the hell. You died like… yesterday." he said trying to wake up. "What? Kyle? Is this a joke? Token?"

"No!" the muffled cry sounded desperate. "It's not a joke, Gus! Look, I die all the time. But it's not important right now! What is, is that someone's trying to kill us! Kyle would never bomb any of my presents."

"What?" Gus gasped as he grabbed a shirt and slipped it on over his head. "Wait. You die all the time? This isn't the first time you've died?"

"Forget about it!" Kenny yelled exasperated. "Focus, you beaner!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Gus yelled laughing inwardly at the joke. "I refuse to work with a poor douche bag, like you." he claimed.

"Sorry!" Kenny yelled. "You have to help me warn the town!" he shouted. "The people are in danger."

"But you're alive?" Gus asked making sure.

"Yes, already! Just hurry!"

"Okay. Let me just pretend I do believe you." Gus said as he tried to remain in the warmth of his sheets. "If I do say I agree, Why do I need to help you?"

"Because I know you're the only one who remembers me. And you're someone who's never spoken to the mayor yet. You think the Mayor's gonna believe my douche bag friends? Stan and Kyle and Eric have caused more trouble with McDaniel's than Clinton with his wife!" Kenny moaned.

"Dude, I just woke up." Gus moaned. "Can I please get ready and eat something?" he asked.

"What? How late were you up yesterday?" Kenny complained.

"I don't know. Okay, I'll go with you, if you just let me get my shit together. Aight?" he asked.

"Kay. I'll meet you at my place in an hour."

"Fuck you." Gus said as he hung up.

Kenny was still alive? And Gus somehow remembered, when no one else did? Ike did, though. Ike would remember. He had helped the boy put out the flames. Gus picked up his phone again, and dialed Kyle Broflovski's number.

"Hello?" Kyle asked.

"Hey, Kyle. Are you with Ike right now?"

"Yeah. He's helping me with some math problems." Kyle said simply. "Just don't tell anyone. Being tutored by your little brother is embarrassing."

"Ask Ike if he remembers doing anything with fire yesterday." Gus said. Leave it to Gus to be as delicate as possible.

"No." Kyle said gently. "He remembers nothing. He says Kenny and you were just in my room. Then, you had to leave to go to the store, and Kenny went with you."

"Oh, fuck!" Gus yelled. "That is so not what happened, bro. Really, really?" Gus asked confused. "I gotta go."

"See yuh." Kyle said as he hung up the phone.

He slipped into a pair of jeans, and into the first pair of socks he found. Finally, his shoes. He clomped off tiredly down to the kitchen, where his mom was making lunch.

"Quieres huevos?" she asked in that shrill voice that she always carried.

"Si." he replied sitting down.

He took a little less time than he had been given to do all his preparing. Soon, he was ready to leave. Kenny still pressing into his mind as he recalled what had happened yesterday.

"Hey, Mexy!" shouted Cartman as Gus walked across the street and towards Kenny's neighborhood. "Better be careful. You're heading into poor property!" Cartman warned.

"Shut up, fat fuck." Gus said under his breath as he walked on. "This town is a hell hole."

He made it to Kenny's place within a couple of minutes. Kenny was already waiting outside.

"Where's my weed?" he asked the older boy as he pulled his hood off.

"Dude, you died." Gus said as they walked off to the Mayor's place.

"Can you forget about that for just a minute, please?" Kenny asked without that trade mark muffle. "Just for a while, Gus?"

"You actually have a face under there?" Gus asked looking at Kenny. "And hair? Blonde hair?"

"I prefer a gold color, thank you very much. Mr. G Status." Kenny said as he and his friend made it to the Mayor's office.

"Don't get all gay on me, now." Gus said as they both walked in.

"How may I help you, boys?" the man at the front asked.

"We're here to see the Mayor." Kenny said in that muffle once again.

"What?" the man asked confused.

"He means, we're here to see the Mayor." Gus explained.

"Mayor?" the man asked into an intercom device.

"Yes Johnson?" she asked.

"You fired Johnson. It's Ted."

"Ted! Whatever. What do you need?"

"Two boys are here to see you." he alerted.

"What about?" she asked.

"Terrorists ruining Christmas." Kenny said into the mic.

"Oh, not you again." she moaned. "Send them in."

The boys walked back into an office, and spotted the Mayor sitting at her desk. She sighed.

"Where is the red head, the fat kid, and the one who throws up when he sees a cute girl?" she asked.

"Not here." Gus said awkwardly.

"Will you at least take off your hood?" she asked pointing to Kenny.

"Sure." Kenny said removing his hood.

"So, what are you wasting my time with, this time?" she asked.

"Terrorists, ruining Christmas." Kenny said as Gus blushed deeply.

"Do you know how faggy that sounds?" Gus asked in his whispery alto.

"Shut up, man!" Kenny moaned. "I didn't know how else to say…"

"And you expect me to believe you?" McDaniel's asked confused.

"Yes." Kenny said softly. "Because if you don't, Christmas will be-"

The door opened, and a very familiar figure stepped in.

"Who let you in?" she asked moaning.

"Mayor, I have a suggestion." Garrison said bravely.

"What?" she asked impatiently.

"Get rid of all the Mexicans." Garrison said determined.

"Mr. Garrison… Every year, you suggest we get rid of all the Mexicans… and every year we say… no!" she said bitterly. "Now, get out of here!"

"Aw, ratz!" he moaned as he walked off.

"Why should I take you seriously?" she asked looking back to Kenny. "Do you know how much trouble you and your little friends have caused me?"

"Well, actually, ma'am," Kenny spoke modestly. "Eric Cartman is not our friend. We just let him chill with us for pity. Oh, if you could put him into Juvy, we would all be so glad." he piped.

"Oh, man." Gus sighed softly. "Why am I here? I don't even hang out with you regularly!" he moaned into his coat. "I'm not even a main character!"

"Think about it. Have I ever taken off my hood in front of you? If I had a warning for you that was stupid, don't you think I'd remain inside my hood for fear of being a dumbass?" Kenny asked confused, and ignoring the fact that Gus had spoken at all.

"Well, I suppose." the Mayor said sighing. "Johnson!" she shouted pushing the button on her mic.

"Uh, it's Ted, Mayor."

"Don't you think I don't know that?" she barked. "Get me the Geologist on the line. No, just tell him to get over here. I need to see him right away. Oh, and get my hair stylist on the line, too. I'm not going to address the public of South Park looking like this." she said lowly.

"Can we go now?" Gus asked embarrassed.

"Yes, yes. Meet me at the town square in thirty. We need to warn the towns people."

"What the hell." Gus said as he and Kenny left.

What had he just gotten himself into?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

The town of South Park was small. Small enough that everyone somehow had everyone and their mom's number on their cell phone, or in their caller ID at home. So, because word somehow got out, the town was all present at Town Square ready to hear their warning. This would have been great, except for only one problem. Well, no. There were a couple problems at hand. One, no one was going to take Kenny McCormick, the biggest trouble maker in town, seriously. Two, Randy Marsh wasn't exactly bright, when he suggested problem solving ideas. Three, whenever the town got together, usually some kind of protest would form. Over all, this was a bad idea.

"Attention, people!" McDaniel's shouted at the top of her lungs. "Attention!"

"You better not be trying to make my Buby preform in another one of your overly religious plays, Mistah Garrison!" Sheila Broflovski shouted angrily.

"Oh, brother." Kyle moaned. "This is not the time, ma."

"Now, now! Why don't we all calm down." McDaniel's said as she stood shakily. "We have brought news for you, from a little boy. Come forward, Lenny."

"Kenny." Kenny yelled as he stepped over to them.

"What in heaven's name did you do now, Kenny?" Garrison chimed. "What have you done, Mister!"

"He… uh… hasn't." Randy Marsh spoke as he made his way to stand with the Mayor. "We have a little bit of a problem. Now, how many of you actually have done… your Christmas shopping?"

"Hell yeah!" Cartman said as he stuck up a pudgy hand.

"Well, I'm afraid that… Christmas is being attacked by Terrorists." he said stupidly. "Who want to make South Park… blow up." He drew out a sentence in a long slow drawl, to make it sound more suspenseful. As he did, he took a sip of his coffee, and leaned back a little.

"Dude!" Stan yelled. "How is Kenny involved in this?"

"Because I was the one… who saw a bomb… Blow up." he said hastily. "So I know for a fact that it's aimed at us."

"Phew! I thought we were really in danger for a second." Gerald said laughing as he relaxed a little. "I mean, who would believe you, Kenny? I mean, ca'mon. After you and my son have gotten into all this trouble."

"Would I have my hood off if it wasn't serious?" Kenny asked confused. "I never have my hood off."

"Think about it before you say anything else." Gus spoke as he tried to get a little more relaxed in order to speak.

"Look, do we believe this little moron?" Cartman asked. "Or do we keep on getting ready for Christmas? It's obvious Cal put him up to this, because he's lonely. The lonely Jew on Christmas."

"What what what?" Sheila screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Okay!" Kenny yelled before anything else could escalate. "Let's figure this out."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

"Well Tom, I'm standing at South Park Gorge."

Stan, Kyle Cartman and Kenny sat around the television two days before Christmas. Kenny had warned his people and now, it was settled. They had solved their problem. Now, they all sat, pissed off, and half relaxed, around the news.

"Where just a week ago people have decided to throw all their presents away, Tom." the reporter informed.

"Yes, Hank, and it looks as if more people are pissed, than satisfied. Here's what a few people have to say." the second reporter said as the camera changed scenes.

"I think," Jimbo Kern said from his gun shop. "People have the right to be armed when confronted by a thief. That's why, I take ma'shot gun where ever I go. I feel my safety is in danger."

"Uh, we're wondering about the Christmas incident." the reporter explained. "Not gun control."

"Oh… uh… That. Well, I think people should have… uh… wait. What was the question again?"

"We just don't know what to do!" McDaniel's said sighing. "All the presents that have been wrapped could contain bombs in the boxes. So, throw them away. Right? The solution is obvious. Go buy new ones. I mean, people need to be safe. Was that good enough? Can we do the shot over?" she asked as the scene switched again.

"I am Professor Chaos!" said the villain as he popped up on the screen. "Fear my wrath! I'm g-gonna make this city suffer, uh, once and for all!"

"Get off the screen, Butters!" Kenny thought grimacing. The scene switched again.

"South Park Geologist Randy Marsh has this to say."

"It's quite simple. If we buy new presents, and throw away the old wrapped ones, we won't have to worry. The solution is, not to wrap the new gifts. That way, no bomb can be snuck in, and we'll all be safe from Terrorists, who want to make our town blow up. So, solution? … Just give people stuff, without wrapping it. … Hey, hey, Sharon." he added gleefully. "I'm on TV, Sharon."

"Oh, man." Cartman groaned. "Your dad is a retard, Stan."

"I don't care." Stan said simply. "I'm just waiting for our Christmas adventure." he announced. "I'm just waiting for that."

"Hey, Kenny, where's Gus?" Kyle asked. "How come you went to the Mayor's with him, instead of us?"

"Because who would believe you, retards?" Kenny asked through his hood. "All you guys ever do is get me into trouble, hurt, and forget all about it the next day."

"Kenny, that is not true!" Stan said glaring. "You're just mad, because you missed out on our greatest Christmas adventure. Although, I wouldn't say it was fun. Jesus got killed and everything."

"The little douche only came to help us after we were done." Eric reminded. "Remember? He appeared over by the sleigh."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

There was a day left before Christmas, and the people had redone all their shopping. You may think everything was solved, right? No.

"Mom, I'm home." Kyle said as he stomped into his house, brushing snow off his hat and jacket.

"Hi, Buby!" she said from the kitchen. "In the kitchen."

Ike came walking in from the living room. "Hi, Kyle." he said yawning. "Oh, hey, mom! Cool. A chemistry set." he said as he spotted a box on the table.

"Yes, bubula! It's your gift for tonight." she said smiling.

"Aw! … Aw!" the four year old let out a high moan. "Mom! That just… fucked everything up." he muttered.

"Language, young man!" Sheila yelled. "Language!"

"Hey, honey." Gerald said walking in with a Victoria secret bag.

"Mom!" Kyle screamed as he spotted a new video game. "Aw! That just totally ruined the whole moment! Why can't we wrap things again?" he asked.

"We don't wanna get killed, Kyle." said Gerald grimacing. "Now, let's all help your mom make Gefilte Fish." he said smiling tenderly at his wife.

"Mom!" Stan yelled as the nine year old walked into his house. "I'm home."

"This is so unfair!" Shelly was yelling as she headed straight up stairs crying.

"What happened to her?" Stan asked as he met his dad on the couch.

"Oh," he said sighing. "Nothin'. She's just a little mad cuz she saw her present."

"What's for dinner?" Stan asked walking into the kitchen.

As he made to reach for the refrigerator door, he spotted a box. It was a brand new, Wii. Stan's name was written on the side of the box. Two video games were lying on top of the box.

"Aw! Aw, aw! God dammit!" he shouted as he spotted his gifts. "Dad! Dad! Aw!" he moaned.

Suddenly, the doorbell was being attacked and ringing repeatedly through the whole house. Stan ran to the door, and was nearly knocked over by his three best friends as they all stomped in. Cartman looked like he was gonna piss his pants. Kenny looked beaten down and sad, and Kyle just looked out right mad.

"What?" Stan yelled. "Can't you see I'm trying to throw a tantrum here?" he yelled.

"Dude!" Cartman yelled throwing himself down on the carpet. "My Christmas… is officially… ruined! Do you guys know what happened when I went to get a bag of Cookie Dings from my pantry?" he asked.

"You fell, ripped your pants, and discovered how fat you are?" Kyle asked. He snatched up any opportunity to rip on his friend.

"Seriously, Cal, if you don't shut your Jew mouth, I'll shut it for you! Right now, is so not the time!" he shouted trying to punch Kyle who ducked.

"What happened?" Stan questioned.

"There, on my kitchen table, was my Lady Gaga CD. As if that wasn't bad enough, I found my new set of game controllers!" he shouted nearly crapping his pants.

"Yeah!" Kyle yelled. I walked in, and I spotted my brother, who spotted his gift. He got really pissed off!" Kyle moaned.

"I don't get it." Sharon said as she walked into the room. "Why is it so bad that-" she stopped.

She spotted a box on the coffee table. "No." she said softly as she picked up the box. "No! Randy, Marsh!" she yelled.

"What, mom. It's not so bad." Stan said mimicking her. "You got to see what dad got you. And, every kiss begins with K." he sang smiling.

"Kay Jewelers." Cartman said in a radio announcer's voice.

"But that ruins everything!" she spat bitterly.

"This is all your dad's fault!" Cartman yelled. "Stan, this… this is all your dad's fault! You, and Kinny! Who the hell has a stupid idea like that? Not to wrap presents?" he yelled out.

"This is not my fault!" Stan shouted. "Not my fault at all!" he screamed. "How is this my fault? If anything, it's Kenny's fault!" he declared.

"Hey! This isn't my fault!" Kenny yelled through his hood. "I'm having as bad a time as you are!"

The boys were all dissolved to shouts and screams. Everything was going to crap, and it was all because of one person's fault. Who was it, though?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Gus walked into the coffee shop just as a familiar figure walked up behind him and grabbed the closing door. It was Eric Cartman. Gus walked up to the bar, and ordered. He took a seat by a window, and took out his laptop. He was in the process of turning it on. He heard a chair scrape, and Cartman sat down across from him.

"Hey, Mexy Pad." Cartman spat bitterly. "Where's your boyfriend, Token?"

"Dude, fuck you." Gus said in his low alto. "I'm tryin' to get my G shit, here." he said bitterly.

"What the fuck is G shit? And what the hell is G status?" he questioned.

"It's Gangsta." Gus explained, sitting up straight. "You wouldn't no. You're too low on the level of swag."

"Fuck you." Cartman spat.

"See?" Gus said smirking. "I tol'you. You're jealous."

"Yeah, whatever. Christmas is tomorrow, and it already went to crap." Cartman said as Tweek brought their drinks over.

"Thanks Broski." Gus said to the twitchy fourth grader.

"Aarrgg! Too much pressure!" Tweek yelled as he ran off.

The boys sat sipping their drinks for a while. Gus concentrating on downloading his latest Lil Wayne mixtape. He started rocking back and forth rapping along with the tune playing in his ear piece.

"I get, high! … High! … High!"

That's when he noticed. Cartman had littered their table with notebook paper. He closed the lid of his laptop, and grabbed a piece of paper with the younger boy's hand writing on it.

"Dude! What the fuck!" Cartman yelled. "What the fuck!"

"Plan 6,0,4,9,8, another attempt to kill Kyle?" Gus read aloud. "Dude, seriously? You're still after Kyle?"

They both fought noisily as Gus rifled through a shaft of loose papers. He spotted a crumpled up paper that they both forgot about, and grabbed it. He gloated as he raised it high in the air.

"That one really doesn't matter." Cartman said bitterly. "Take it."

"Oh, really?" the fifth grader asked as he shoved the piece into his pocket. "Really, Cartman? So I guess you won't mind if I keep it?"

"Um, no. I already said that." Cartman said bitterly. "This is why Mexicans shouldn't even be alive. They take our bean supply, and they are stupid." he said simply. "Who eats beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner?"

"We do not eat beans for every meal, fat ass." Gus said bitterly.

"Prove it! What did you have for dinner yesterday?"

"Mrs. Broflovski made us some Goulash. It was actually really good. Kind of like our own stews." he said smiling.

"You hang with the Jew?" Cartman asked.

"Let me drink my coffee in piece, shit face. Has anyone ever told you hanging with you sucks balls?" Gus asked.

"Fuck you. You know what you are, Gus?" Cartman asked. "You're a wannabe. You act white on the outside, and look brown on the inside. You're a coconut."

Gus almost fell over in peals of laughter. The boy couldn't even insult right. Maybe it was because of his comfort levels. He was used to just insulting Kyle. Well, it wasn't as if the fifth graders ever hung out with the fourthies. I mean, really.

"You got the diss backwards, you little dick wad." Gus said laughing really hard. "Back, werd." he said pounding his fist on the table and making their cups jerk.

"Screw you, Gus! I'm goin' home!" Cartman announced.

They waited there for another minute. "So?" Gus asked.

"What?" Cartman demanded.

"Go home." Gus shot.

"I'm gonna!" Cartman spat as he sipped his drink. "I'm just finishing my hot chocolate."

"Well, hurry." Gus said laughing a little.

"I'm gonna!" Cartman yelled as he picked up his papers and slipped them back into his bag.

Cartman hesitated for what seemed like ten minutes before he was finally out the door. Gus was left with a shocked laughing expression. The boy hadn't changed, even after the incident with Cthulhu. He was still a sadistic, racist, uncaring prick.

Gus sat at the coffee shop for what felt like the whole day. Okay, it was. He ate food, and got free internet. It wasn't bad, at all. He made it home around eight in the evening. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. As he dug into the insides of his pockets, to make sure his jacket was empty, he found it. The scrap of paper that he had taken from Cartman. He forgot about that. Huh.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Are you serious?" Kenny asked as he stood in front of his fifth grade friend. "Are you shittin' me?"

"No. Here." Gus took out the notebook paper, and handed it to Kenny.

Getting rid of Justin Beaber

I made this plan in the event that I get enough money to make my own bom. I wanna get rid of that little fag, Justen Beaber. Once and for all. I hate him, almost as much as I hate Kyle. For being a stoopid Joo.

The letter went on to explain just how the bomb was going to be made, and when. That's when it hit Kenny… Hard… In the balls.

"Cartman got the tags to the presents mixed up!" they both yelled. "We have to tell everyone!" Kenny shouted. "The holiday can still be saved."

"How can we tell everyone? It's almost one in the afternoon, and shops are going to close! We have to hurry, before people don't buy more shit, and Christmas is ruined even more." Kenny said into his hood. "If that even made sense."

"Kenny, you never make sense." Kevin said from Kenny's bed. "Even with your hood off."

Gus and Kenny made their way to the Mayor's office. As always, there had to be some reason or another, that she didn't want to see them. But in the end, she took them in.

"What is it this time?" she asked.

Gus and Kenny, each with their own pieces of the story, managed to filll her in on what was going on. She looked like she was ready to kill someone.

"You mean… we all threw our presents… into the Gorge… just because the little fat kid wanted to get rid of Justin Bieber?" she asked.

"That doesn't matter! Punish him later!" Kenny yelled. "May I suggest ten years in Juvy?"

"Ted?" she asked into her mic.

"You fired Ted, mayor. This is Blade." said the voice at the other end.

"I knew that!" she spat bitterly. "Call the news channel, and get them to come down here. Everyone's probably home watching Christmas specials."

"And now, welcome back. A Charlie Brown Christmas." said the Television as Stan and his parents sat quietly around.

"Why so glum, Stan?" Randy asked.

"Because I'm totally not even having a Christmas adventure." Stan said almost to the point of tears. "No Santa needing our help, no escaped Charlie Manson. No Mr. Hankey fighting with his alcoholic wife." Stan mumbled as tears glazed the little boy's eyes.

"…Bringing you a special bulletin alert!" shouted a familiar voice.

"That's too bad, Stan. Now, shush, daddy needs to watch the news. The Mayor may call me for more ideas." he said as he sat up straight.

Stan let out a dejected sigh.

"Tom, I'm standing in the mayor's office in South Park Colorado. Where it seems the story we had for you earlier, guys, is turned into a twist. It seems terrorists were not trying to make the town blow up after all. But instead, one brave little insane fat boy's plan to get rid of Justin Bieber. As we all know, ever since he rented a place to live in this town, it has totally gone to hell. Back to you, Tom."

"The people in South Park must be rejoicing to hear the news!" Tom yelled as he himself jumped up and down. "As we all know, the presents thrown in the gorge had been bundled into plastic bags, so no harm has been done. People are headed to the gorge as we speak to pick up what they previously threw away."

"You have just got to be shitting me." Kyle said as he watched. "Really? Cartman is so fucking stupid. I just don't know, sometimes."

So, the people gathered all their presents up again. It was sort of hard to say who was more pissed off. Cartman, because his plan failed, or Kenny, who never got any sort of apology from him.

"Aren't you gonna apologize?" Gus asked as they all walked into Stan's mom's house.

"For what, Kinny didn't die." Cartman said bitterly. "Besides, he knows I didn't wanna hurt him. Just Cal and Justin pussy pants Bieber."

Gus grabbed the chubby boy by his neck. "Say sorry, or I'll fuck you up… good, dude." Gus said bitterly.

"I'll make you eat your parents." Cartman mumbled.

"For once, just say sorry!" Said Kyle as Gus held him. "You don't scare us."

"Sorry is good Karma on Christmas Eve." Gus said still holding the boy. "Here he comes. Say… sorry, or die."

Gus let the boy go. Kenny came walking through the door, and greeted them all. Gus smirked at the chubby boy again.

"Cartman here, has something to tell you." Kyle said smiling gently at Kenny.

"I'm sorry I mixed up the tags and almost blew you up, Kinny." he said simply.

"You did." Kenny said bitterly.

"And I'm sorry I almost made you dah."

"You did." Kenny said simply.

"Hey," Stan said ignoring Kenny's last phrase. "Let's go see if the presents have all been piled under the tree."

As all of them left, Kenny and Gus stood by the door staring. Kenny gave a huge sigh of sadness.

"Hey, don't trip, Kenny." Gus said smiling. "I know about what happened. You're not crazy, and I'm not either."

The whole town, it seems, had been invited to the Marshes for Christmas dinner. Even Kyle, whose family usually never celebrated. It was nice, because the more people, the more food. To the annoyance of everyone at the party, all the channels were showing a concert that Justin Bieber was preforming at the town square. Most of the crowd consisted of teen aged girls from the surrounding counties. They all booed and watched as the pop star sang his next song.

"Holy… shit, dude!" Stan shouted as the Christmas tree that the singer was standing by, fell on him.

"Dude! The Beaver's gone!" Clyde shouted laughing. "Look at the mess!"

"Has anyone seen Cartman?" Kyle asked looking around.

"No!" Wendy said as she passed through with a grin on her face. "Serves him right. He got annoying after a while."

"Cartman's always annoying." Kenny said bitterly.

"No, I mean Justin." Wendy said simply.

"Do-do you think he's dead?" Butters stuttered.

"Hope so." Stan said angrily.

"Aw, ca'mon, Stan." Kyle said gently laying a hand on his friend's shoulder. "So you didn't have a Christmas adventure. Big whup. Maybe the next one will be better."

"Yeah. Maybe." Stan said sighing.

"You know?" Kyle said as he stood up and walked to the head of the table. "I learned something today."

The whole house went quiet as the Semite began to address them.

"Christmas is not just about presents and adventure. It's about being together as friends, and family. And the reason why kids and couples shouldn't try so hard to see what their significant others got them for Christmas, is because it takes the fun away from everything. You guys saw. When you spotted your gifts on the table, or couch, or under the tree or whatever, you saw what they were right away. I know, like me, all of you were pissed off that you knew what it was. That's why, we should always wrap gifts, and never try to peak in advance to see what it might be. It just takes the joy out of what's supposed to be a joyful holiday." he recited sighing. "And it might just blow up in your face." He added.

"Here here!" Token shouted from beside Gus as he lifted his glass.

"Aw!" Sharon said smiling at her friend. "Look at your boy, Sheila. He's so adorable."

"Yes he is." Said Sheila smiling.

"Hey, Goose?" Token asked gently. "Will you pass the gravy?"

"Gravy, comin' up." Gus said passing Token the dish.

"Thanks, guy." said Token smiling.

"Sure, broski." Gus said as he went back to his food.

The door burst open, and Cartman came walking in. He was smiling from ear to ear.

"Let's give our fat ass a round of applause." Kyle said loudly.

"Language!" Sheila yelled.

"For bringing the tree of death down on the most annoying person on the planet right now." Token said smiling.

The whole place burst into cheers and applause as Cartman marched through the crowd, and found a seat next to his mom. What a happy party.

"Dude, did they ever say if Justin died?" Kenny asked with a mouthful.

"Mmm, no." Craig replied. "But if I could kill Justin Bieber with a Christmas Tree, I would be soooo happy."

Author's Note:

Well, dudes? This is the end. Thank you for all that reviewed. I am so sorry that this is out of season. As soon as the creator of FanFiction net decides to be responsible and fixes the website, I promise I'll write even better stuff. See you guys later.

Jet


End file.
